Life of Loki
by Lamenting-Shadows
Summary: In the latest chapter, Loki and his brother take a little trip to Starbucks! How will this go? You know as well as I do that Thor can get rather obnoxious at times...
1. Day 1

Life of Loki

Day 1: The Dream

_I wandered, ran really, through a jungle of voices. They were the voices of the people who kept me from my plan of total domination. Thor, Odin, even _I _was there! As I neared the end of the jungle, a stout, rather dirty old woman appeared in front of me holding two cups of wine. _

_"I hereby curse these goblets of the reckless and the outcasted!" She threw the cups into the air. I expected wine to rain down on me, but instead a thick red substance fell onto my face. Blood. However, as I reached for my face to wipe away the sticky liquid, I noticed that my arms themselves were bleeding. I watched, stunned, as my skin changed to a color as blue as the deepest ocean and became adorned with the regal marks of a frost giant._

_Suddenly I was in Jotunheim, watching as castles and mountains crumbled before my eyes. I fell to my knees and sobbed when my brother Thor approached with Laufey's head in his grasp._

"Holy crap!" I shot stock straight in my bed, sweating and grasping for breath.

"Brother?" Thor lit the candle next to his bed across the room. Brilliant, might I add, to give the idiot the candle.

"No need, Thor, it was but a dream." I may have sounded convincing, but I was shaken as hell.

"Anyway, go to sleep. After all, it _is_…"

He had fallen asleep in the middle of his sentence, causing me to smile at his childish habits.

However, I still couldn't sleep. I read a chapter in my most recent book _Sense and Sensibility_, but, seeing as it was incredibly intriguing, I was even less compelled to go to sleep.

I got out of bed, donned my olive green overcoat, laced my boots, and left Thor in peace.

As I passed one of my favorite meadows, I noticed an all too familiar cave.

"Father!" An enormous silver wolf sat up and bowed his head. "Are you not well?" He looked up, a faint glimmer of worry in his gaze.

"I see that you have not changed, Fenrir," I said, smiling. "Though, I am experiencing trouble sleeping. I dreamt of a curse, upon the 'reckless and the outcasted.'"

"Presumably Thor and yourself?" He relaxed a bit.

"I have not put full thought into this matter, however the idea is not farfetched. This curse was upon two wine cups, bronze, like the dinner goblets." Then it hit me. The hag in my dream had cursed our goblets, and if drunken from, the outcome could be horrendous.

"Fenrir, I must take my leave. Do not fret, for I will return soon." I nodded in his direction then left the cave.

As I made my way back to the palace, I pondered when to inform Thor of this. If I told him in the morning, he would think me a trickster and not take my warning to heart. I decided it would be best to tell him at dinner.

"Thor!" I whispered, shaking him violently into consciousness.

"Go away, cow." He pressed his head into the pillow and swatted me away.

"Thor, the sun is rising. If you do not do the same, weapon training will begin without you, and I will be forced to go to necessary measures to assure your wakening." I sneakily readied a cup of cold water above his blanket.

"I do not care, I can practice any time I like," he replied, his voice muffled by the pillows.

"Thor..." I let myself trail off.

"Nothing will remove me from this bed!"

I dumped the water, soaking the majority of the linen. He sprung out of bed with the speed of his own summer lightning.

"That was certainly something." I smirked.

"Shut up, cow." He grimaced at me as he lumbered out of the bed. "Did mother obtain more poptarts?" he said, pulling on a pair of his leather pants.

"Blueberry, just how you like. Top cupboard on the left." I handed him a grey t-shirt and he tugged it on over his head as he began his daily trudge to the kitchen. I returned to my own dry (thank goodness) bed which remained neatly made and picked up my book.

Soon he returned, two foil packages in his grasp and a half-eaten pastry in his mouth which was accompanied by a small blob of blue jam.

He barbarically shoved the rest of the poptart into his mouth and began to put on his armor.

"Thor..." A red spider had begun to make its way up from under his shoulder plate.

"Whaff?" He replied, spewing crumbs all over the floor. I winced at his inhumane act and pointed to the spider which was now descending his cape.

He flicked it off and crushed it with his heel. "Why must you be such a baby, Loki? It is a spider, nothing more than a small inconvenience." He ripped open another foil packet and shoved the contents into his mouth. They didn't entirely fit, so he crammed them into the back to make room.

I could stand his horrid ways no longer, so I left him alone and went to sit in the courtyard with my new iPod. With the discovery of dubstep in Asgard, I enjoyed watching father train while listening to my "tunes." I also enjoyed my short but frequent journeys to Midgard, where the inhabitants treated me the way all should. Not as a trickster and a liar, but as a ruler.

However, enough sentiment, back to the trouble at hand.

That evening, I decided to sit in my ceremonial dinner place, the seat next to Thor. That way, I would be ready.

"So then I said, 'Hiya!'" Thor spat chinks of pork across the table as laughter rang through the room.

"Yeah," a silent pause as Volstagg spoke, "I was there!"

The room once again erupted with laughter.

"Actually, it was more of a 'heeyop...'" I interjected.

Everyone stared silently at me, but started laughing again and I filled with a warm satisfaction.

"A toast to my little brother!" Thor said, shoving his cup in the air.

A hefty shout, and everybody brought their cups to their lips. Out of desperation, I squirted a grape in Thor's face. He stopped just short of drinking, and a playful mischief played across his features. He downed the drink in one gulp (obviously what he is famous for here) and started chucking peas into my carefully gelled hair. Tyr smacked Skuld in the face with his mutton, and said mutton ended up back in Tyr's face. The fighting went back and forth for about twenty minutes, wasted as everybody was.

"I am tired. I shall retire. I advise you all to do the same, as there is much adventure that awaits you tomorrow." Thor stood, smiled, then retreated to the bedroom.

I immediately followed, afraid for my brother. However, upon entry into the room, I was greeted with the sight of a sleeping Thor, still fully armored.

His loud snoring was a sign that all was well, and I took the sign graciously.

"It was... just a dream?"

I lied down in my bed and thought for a bit, but I soon fell into a peaceful sleep.

Which was, thankfully,

**dreamless.**


	2. Day 2

**Yes, the second chapter is here!**

**I know, I'm a horrible person for making you guys wait so long...**

**I'm truly sorry. I promise I will be better about it now.**

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"Loki, Loki, Loki, Loki, wake up!" Thor was jumping up and down on my bed like a child at Christmas.

"What time is it?" I groggily opened my eyes to see his face about two inches from my own.

"It's me day."

"Odin help us all."

Every Asgardian in the palace, even the guards, knew what Thursday was. Unfortunately, that meant I did too.

"I brought a poptart that you can eat on the way." He hopped across the room as he struggled with a boot.

"That would be great and all, if Heimdal allowed food on the bifrost." I got out of bed and put on my overcoat.

"You're sneaky." He shrugged, and I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"I may be the god of mischief, but that doesn't mean that I can get past Heimdal. You and I both know that nothing goes unnoticed my him."

"The frost giants did," he said, clipping his cape into the holders.

"That's irrelevant." I eyed the poptart, disgusting thing, on my bedside table.

"Then what is?" He narrowed his eyes and smiled, knowing I had o way out of that one.

I didn't. "Fine, you win. I'll bring the damn poptart." I grabbed it angrilly and shoved it in my pocket. I couldn't _stand_ being outwitted, much less by the stupidest person in Asgard.

"Thursday already?" Freyja asked as we passed her in the courtyard, or at least as Thor passed her. I was being drug on the ground, against my will might I add, like a body bag.

Soon we had reached the bifrost.

"Set course for midgard," Thor commanded as I got up and shoveled pounds of dirt from my favorite boots and overcoat.

"No food in the bifrost, Loki." Heindal eyed a crumb on my coat.

"Oh for goodness sake!" Thor shoved the pastry down my throat and I almost choked trying to swallow it.

"Please keep all arms, legs, and," Heimdal gave me a suspicious look, "other limbs within the rainbow bridge at all times and enjoy the ride," he finished as he activated the bridge.

"Oh come on, Loki, you were barely trying."

"Thor, I _told_ you. Heimdal is-"

"Thor!" Jane interrupted me and ran up to him.

"Jane." Thor leaned down and kissed her. Being ever the gentleman, I averted my gaze.

"I've missed you," she siad, leaning her head against his chest.

"Oh, he's missed you too," I said, remembering all of the drawings of her on his side of the bedroom. I had gotten the beating of a lifetime when one of them fell onto my side and I used my magic to burn it.

"Hey Loki." Darcy leaned her head out the window of the van.

"Darcy." I acknowledged her with a smile and polite nod.

"Have you guys eaten anything?" Jane looked over at me.

"I've had a poptart crammed down my throat, does that count?" I glared at my annoying counterpart.

"The Starbucks here has great shawarma." She was now suddenly in the van and it was running. Great, two teleporting idiots.

"Starbucks?" I asked, but shehad already begun to drive towards the city. I exchanged a questioning glance with Thor before shrugging and starting after the vehicle.

As we walked slowly through the streets of Puente Antiguo, we contemplated what "Starbucks" could possible be.

"A celestial deer, perhaps?" He put his forefinger to his chin.

I looked up and saw a green sign towering above us. "Or that."

"Hmph."

"No, no, your guess was right on the ball! You used vocabulary I didn't even know you had in there," I said, knocking slightly on my head.

Thor punched me in the nose (so original) and summoned a small grey cloud that hung over my head.

"You guys, stop it. We don't need Manhattan all over again. You know, you weren't the only ones who received repair bills." Jane walked out of the glass doors.

"Thor started it." I pointed an accusatory finger at the man in question. The cloud above me rumbled and dumped a gallon of water on my hair, washing all of the gel out.

"Nice look." Jane stifled a laugh.

However, lucky for me, it was back to normal with the snap of a finger.

We walked into the shop and the first thing I noticed was the smell. It was almost like a mix between freshly made honey mead and blueberry poptarts. A delectable scent accompanied by a home-like atmosphere and pleasant Midgardian melodies. I deducted that this must be one of the coffeehouses I had heard so much about.

"How can I help you?" A young woman asked from behind the counter.

"Yeah." Jane pulled out her wallet and walked over. "Can I get two caramel mochas and a large chicken shawarma wrap?"

"Anything else?" The woman said after typing something into a computer.

"Loki, do you want anything?" Jane looked at me.

"Um, no thanks. I don't really like shawarma."

"Brother, you must eat!" Thor slapped me in the back.

"Just the coffee," I insisted.

The stormcloud above my head rumbled.

"Fine, a small shawarma." I gave in.

"What kind?"

"I don't care, I'm not going to eat it anyway."

"Another chicken, then."

"That'll be fourteen eighty-one."

Jane opened her wallet and gave the woman a twenty.

"Five nineteen is your change, you drinks and wraps will be finished shortly." The woman's smile was so fake that it almost made me shiver.

After a few minutes, Jane returned with our lunches. I took mine and sipped it slowly. It tasted like a coffee bean had kissed a caramel cream in the Arctic Circle. In short, it was amazing.

I was handed my chicken wrap and Thor got his. After closely inspecting it and not finding any mold spores or stray hairs, I decided to take a bite. Immediately after sinking my teeth in, the words "revolting," "bad," and "absolutely horrifyingly disgusting" splashed around in my mind. As if under a spell, I spat the horrible inedible mass out of my mouth and looked to see that Thor already eaten almost half of his lunch. Who was I kidding? This was a snack for him. I inconspicuously slid my own over to him across the table.

I took a generous sip from my drink to chase away the horrible aftertaste. The painful cold gave me a comforting feeling that reminded me of home. My real home. (And yes, I realize that me being sensitive about my home is a huge cliche, but that's only because it's true.)

We ate in silence, and I spent most of the time thinking about how much Darcy reminded me of Elizabeth from _Pride and Predjudice_.

As soon as we had finished, Thor and I began to make our way back home. It took a whilt to pry him off of Jane and to convince him that she couldn't come with us, but I did it with a lot of help. When we got home, we were greeted by a crowd of, I assumed, everyone in Asgard at that moment. I shook my head in disappointment with our world and walked around the crowd as everybody mobbed Thor for details about the day. I was practically positive that he puffed a few things out and made me look worse than I had actually been, but considering all of the horrible things I had done to him in the past, I didn't mind.

That night, I dreamed about what it would be like if Darcy met Elizabeth. It was interesting, but not as interesting as today's diary entry.

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**THANK GOD I WROTE THAT**

**I actually lost my notebook about halfway through ,so I had to go by mind, and I hope I turned out okay. PM or review with ideas for the next chapter and you get a shoutout!**

**See you tommorow, bye!**


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